If you don’t know where you’re going, you will never get there. It is so important to know where you want to go with your life, to take charge and make the choices necessary to get there. Life can come in the way and just lead you along the path that you are already on. But if you’re not consciously choosing your direction, you might end up in a place where you don’t want to be. In a job you hate, or in a house you don’t love, or surrounded with people you have nothing in common with. While living your life, it is essential that you are also consciously creating it and know where you’re going.
Imagine that you are in a new country and you are just following some road, you end up at a crossroad but the signs are written in Thai, so you don’t understand anything. Which direction should you go? It’s hard to make a decision like that if you don’t know where you’re going. But if you know you’re going North, it should be easier to make a choice. If you then also know the name of the place and have map, you will ultimately end up where you wanted to be.
The same goes for life.
When you don’t have a clear vision of your destination, lose your map of forget you were going, you will start to make the choices that will lead you away from your desired dream. Here’s how you can get back on track. I will give you 3 most important ways to make the right choices and get back on the path you most want to be on.
You need a map
When we take the analogy of travel again. If you are travelling in Thailand and someone hands you a map of Cuba, it is not very likely that you will find your way. So choosing the right roadmap is essential. When you want to live a more healthy life, it makes no sense using a map for building a successful business. When you want to be the leader of a football team, the guide for ballet turns will not get you the right information.
We sometimes think that all maps of life are universal. And sure, they have useful and universal information. But to find a specific map for your personal goals will still be the most effective.
If someone else already done what you are about to do, using their roadmap can be a good option. Find someone that is already successful at what you want to do, or better a few good examples, and follow those roadmaps. They will most likely bring you to the right destination if you have made it clear where you want to go. More on that later.
Where are you on that map?
The other thing about having a map is that you need to know where you are now. If the roadmap is guiding you from Bangkok to Chang Mai and you are still on the island of Ko Chang, you might find it difficult to understand the map and you still have to figure out how to get to Bangkok first on your own.
The same is what I see (and have experienced) in building a business. A lot of business coaches are people that already have the technical or marketing expertise. They start their map for their clients where they were when they started their business, yet they leave out how to get to that starting point. I have found it very difficult to get to point A, before using the maps they have showed me.
I wish they would have been clear about the starting point of our journey, so I could make sure I was there before starting to follow their guidance.
This is why I use the intake, free consult to see where my client is at the beginning of our journey together. So we can map out the journey exactly from where they are now. It greatly improves the success of their journey.
Have a clear vision of your Destination
The second thing you need in life is a clear vision of where you want to go. Do you want to live abroad and make living online? Or do you want to build a meeting center in your own village and make an impact on your local community? Both are very good goals, but they can’t be done at the same time.
So you need to make a choice right now. What is it that you want most?
Be as specific as you can be. See yourself living that life that you are dreaming of? What details do you see? Who do you surround yourself with? If you want to have a family life and this dream, do they go together? Do you see what resources you need to live that life? How do you see yourself get there?
Those are all questions you need to ask yourself, prior to taking the journey. Be so clear that you can touch, taste and smell the outcome.
You don’t want to end up at a destination, where you don’t want to be once it becomes a reality.
Let me tell you about what happened to me.
I was in Cusco Peru for the first time in 2012 and really thought I wanted to move there. But instead of working my ass off or taking the plunge without preparation. I first made a real clear picture in my mind about what that life would look like. Then I went back in 2013, only to find out it was not the fairy tale life, I had been dreaming of. So I adjusted the dream a bit and changed it to wanting to be in Cusco every year for a few months because I loved it there so much. But I didn’t want to live there. That clarity is very important when you want to build your dream life, somewhere else in the world. So when you’re thinking about doing this, think about your destination in detail and about how your life will look like for real.
Once you have set out a clear vision on where you want to go and you can see the road that is going to take you there, making choices will be that much easier.
Make choices leading you to where you want to go
A lot of people that are not living their dream life right now, always say that ‘life got in the way’ and they were distracted or went too far off their desired road. So be very mindful of the road you are on right now and that it is the road you want to be on.
My good friend Miriam was 19 when she was in doubt if the medical world was her place to be. She was in university and still had 5 years ahead of her. She wanted to quit, but when she talked about that choice and where that would lead her, she remembered what she really wanted to do and why she started in the first place. Now she is where she wanted to be most, learning to be a house doctor.
Once you have set your Goal/ Destination and you connect that to your Big Why, making choices will be much easier. Especially when it gets tough. The roads that lead us to our dream life will not always be the easiest decisions. So being clear on your goal is essential for making the right choices as you go.
There are some tools that are going to help you make the right choice. One of them is asking yourself these questions whenever you are in doubt or when you’re ready to throw in the towel :
- Is this choice leading to my dream destination/ my goal?
- What happens if I go the other way? (think through all possible routes and their outcomes)
- How will my life look like a year from now, if I do choose to go through with it?
The answers to these questions take you from the situation where you feel stuck, to the place where you want to be. Sometimes dreaming about our desired outcome, can bring out the motivation and the power to pursue our dreams. I sure did my share of dreaming in order for me to keep going. It has helped me a lot to stay positive and keep my Destination in mind. This doesn’t mean I have never taken a de-tour or a choice that was not directly leading to my dream destination. But those are all part of the journey. Would I recommend it? no
Is taking a detour okay or a way of procrastination?
Like I said, I have taken my share of detours and when I think of them, they made sense at that time. But when I had taken the time to evaluate my choices, ask myself the right questions and stay true to my dreams, I probably would have gotten there sooner.
In my case, the question of making enough money always is a reason to go take a detour. I need to work to get the money to go to Cusco. Or if I stay on just a bit longer here at this job, I can make more money. Yet when I would have listened to my heart, I would have trusted that my Mission work was going to provide for me every time. I just needed to be where I was guided to.
Sometimes you need to take a risk and trust the Universe more than you believe your logical mind.
We can think and procrastinate all the creativity (magic) out of our lives if we are not careful. We don’t always need to know the outcome or the answers. We just need enough belief and trust to go with what feels right at that moment. You never know where that ‘opening up’ will take you. Letting go of what you ‘know’ or what feels like the ‘best logical choice’ can be the best choice you’ll ever make.
Do you want to know where you are now and which step you need to take now to get to where you want to go, I offer short consultations ‘WegWijs sessions’ to offer soul travellers like you that are on a crossroad to make the right choices. Click here if you want to schedule an appointment.
Thank you so much for reading this blog. Let me know in the comments, how this article helped you. If you have any questions, I will be more than happy to guide you to find your answer.
In loving guidance, Nanda