You find yourself lost in your own life, nothing is the same anymore. Or maybe your life is, but you aren’t. The things you used to love take so much energy now, that you stopped doing them. And the things that gave you energy before, now seem to drain your energy instead. There needs to be some drastic changes in your life and you have no idea where to start building that new structure for your new life from. I have the answer for you and it’s called the Life Balance Formula. It will not only let you look at today and the changes you can make right now, but also are a good guidance mechanism for your future that is totally going to match your new lifestyle.
Are you ready to find out?
I’m so excited that I can share this life changing formula with you in such a special time in your life.
I know it doesn’t seem like such a good time, because your old world is breaking down around you and the new one hasn’t been built yet. I know how you feel and I’ve been there. Don’t worry, all will be fine in the end (and if it’s not, it’s not the end).
What if there was a day in your life where everything is just perfect. You wake up happy, the sun is shining and you feel fit and have all the energy you need to make this a perfect day. You take out your favorite clothes and go out the door, have some breakfast on the way and you feel energized. There are so many things to do today, but they are all fun and have so much to do with your dream. You will meet interesting people with whom you have nice conversations that inspire you. You will help the people you care about and get to spend time with them. Enthusiastically you tell them about your new ideas and new plans. And on top of it all you just booked a flight to go to a very special retreat you’ve been meaning to go to. Life is good, life is great, life is amazing!
How do you get at ‘the perfect day’ from the place where you are now?
I already told you that is called the Life Balance Formula, so it’s about the different areas of your life and that you find a Balance in those areas that make you feel energized, happy and at peace. I will walk you through the 6 areas that are in the life balance formula and help you indicate where you are now and how to get from where you are, to where you want to be.
The main thing is, to be honest about your starting point and keep an open mind for where this new balance is going to lead you. Most likely it’s not going to take you back to your life as it was… I’m sorry to break it to you, but life will never be the same as it was. Otherwise, it wouldn’t be life.
“Life is ever changing and bringing us forward.”
I always use the analogy of the river. The river always flows towards the ocean. It can never go back. Yet it can be stuck for a while, go slow or go fast… yet that doesn’t change the destination.
So take a deep breath, say goodbye to the old let go and let the river take you…
All will be okay. Better than okay. All will be brand new and perfect.
The 6 areas of your life that you want to balance
I will be taking you through six areas of your life. When I ask you a question, it’s best to directly write it down and answer it, before you read any further. So take out a notebook or a piece of paper and start your Life balance formula – test.
In order to know how you get to your destination, you need to know where you are now, right?
So be honest in writing down your answers. If you want, place a date next to them. You can take the questions again in a month or a week and they could be different already. That’s the nice thing about balance. It is always changing when you put your attention to it. So good job to you! Before you started you have taken the time to get some answers today. Congratulations.
Now let’s get to work.
The order of the areas are placed in a specific order. Because I believe that we skip a lot of thinking and dwelling in our sad story and old emotions when we do it like this. So bear with me and let’s start with your Spiritual Balance.
All healing comes from the inside out and deep inside of you is your Soul. That part of you that is sometimes forgotten, which leads to sadness, depression, feeling lost and alone. The way I see it, is that you got sidetracked because there was a glitch between your Soul and you, and you were unaware of the guidance that was given to you. That’s what caused your circumstances to change the way they did and now your Soul is the point where we start to guide you back and get your life back on track.
I want you to have the most beautiful, fulfilling and perfect life you can possibly have. So starting at a Soul level is the way to go, if you ask me. From there, your Emotional, Mental and Physical level will change with the choices you make. And ultimately we will address your financial balance, which will take your new life to a new level.
When you feel off track and lost, it is probable that you have lost sight of your soul and what is really important in your life. It can also be involuntary, I’m not saying that you did something wrong. But the fact is that, if you were following your life passion and were living a guided life you probably would already have the feeling that your life was on track and you wouldn’t be reading this blog right now.
Spiritual balance is about your connection to your Self – your higher Self or Soul or Spirit. No matter how you want to call it. It is the part of you where your intuition and inner wisdom comes from. The little voice inside of you that is loving and supporting and always guiding you in the right direction, if you are willing to listen.
To find out if your life is spiritually balanced, you can ask yourself the following questions.
1. Do I have a strongly developed intuition, which I trust above all else?
2. Do I take the time to listen to my heart and cherish my relationship with myself?
3. Do I have a way of communicating with myself, besides my inner critical voice?
Now be honest to yourself, how you would like your spiritual balance to look like. Take a blank page and start writing for 5-10 minutes without stopping. Your True Voice will take over when you are open to listen and you will write down the answers that you need to reach the destination of spiritual balance in your life. Write down this sentence and then start: “When my life would be spiritually balanced it would look like this ….. “
When you have done all that. What do you see in the words you have written down. Are they positive or critical? Do you feel loved and supported by this voice? Do you feel connected to the picture you just wrote down, and how much are you committed to make this a priority in your life?
To make a change in the balance you have in your life, take out one aspect and make yourself a promise. It doesn’t have to be big. Start with making a promise like: By this time next week, I will …. And then write down your promise to yourself. Come back next week to see if you did it and when. How did it make you feel and how did it affect your Spiritual Balance?
When you have established a relationship with your Soul again that is a good starting point to get your emotions back into balance and heal some things that are bothering you. I use EFT as a healing tool that helps me get those emotional blockages out of the way. I’m sure it will help you too.
If you don’t know anything about it yet, I suggest you watch this video.
To start the healing process the first thing you need is awareness. You need to be aware of the emotions that are playing a part in your dis-balance right now. Be really honest to yourself and write down a list of emotions that you’ve experienced in the last week (or 3 days when you have been very emotional these days). Write them all down, good or bad. Leave space next to it, like this.
|Emotion||Week 1||Week 2||Emotion||Week 1||Week 2|
You can also use this example, but it’s more powerful to use your own description of your emotions. It shows that you are aware of them and you learn how to call them by their name, it adds more meaning to the exercise. Then use this list of emotions to become aware of how many times a week you feel like this. Jot down at the end of the day which emotions showed up. And repeat that a week from now. Becoming aware of your emotions is a good way of monitoring your emotional balance.
In the meanwhile you are also going to work on healing the emotional blocks that bother you the most. So is it sadness or stress for you, then let’s work with that first. EFT is Emotional Freedom Technique, so you with this you will learn how to balance your emotions in a soft and powerful manner.
Watch this video to show you the basic technique and apply it to your most prominent emotion.
When you tell someone about your life, you tell it like it is a story. And that is exactly what it is. When you change your story, you change the way you feel about the story and change your reality.
Let’s try this. Take out your notebook and write down your story.
What happened to you? Why are you in your current situation? How do you feel? Etc. etc. Tell it to me, like I’m right in front of you and I don’t know you yet.
When you are done, I want you to be honest about how this story makes you feel. If there was nothing to change about your circumstances, and things will always look like this. What would that be like for you? Is it your worst case scenario?
We use that phrase for a reason. Because, it is like we all these different screenplays on the shelf, yet we choose to repeat the one we just recently have lived… What if you could choose a different scenario? Stay within the same circumstances, but just change the way you look at it and talk about it. Add a bit more gratitude, excitement and a little less drama and see how you can change that story.
Let me give you an example of how I used to talk about my burn-out when it just happened and how I changed my story:
“It is just not fair. The people at that company don’t understand and just want me to go back to work. They are crazy when they say I’m not sick. I am very sick. I can’t even drive myself to the supermarket without crying and feeling so tired all the time. How can they think I will be able to work. That’s even more draining than just going to the supermarket. I feel so misunderstood and worry that they will have me go to work too soon.” (one month into my burn-out)
“When I stay in this job there is not much that will change in my workload or the way I wish I could do my job. If they don’t appreciate the way I work or trust me, this situation is not good for me anymore. What I would really want to do is take a new course and become a children’s coach. That would be very exciting and fulfilling to me. If I could take this opportunity to change course and have a different job by the end of the year. I also want to let them know how the current circumstances have made me feel and that I don’t want to keep going on like this. I can convince them to pay for the new course I want to take. That’s a good idea, let’s go with that.” (3 months into my burn-out)
These small changes in my story made all the difference. Instead of placing myself as the victim I was making myself the creator or my reality again, dictating what I wanted to change about this situation.
Now it’s time to look at your story and tweak it in such a way that you gain back the power of creation! Write it like how you wish you would have handled it or from a point of view that makes it actually positive that this happened to you. Make sure, you are still honest to yourself. Don’t lie for the sake of changing the story, you have to believe it to feel the difference and the effect of it.
To indicate your mental balance ask yourself the following questions:
- 1. Am I thinking negative thoughts about myself most of the time?
- 2. Do I feel like a victim of my circumstances and like to complain to others about them?
- 3. Do I have new ideas and know a way to turn my circumstances around?
It might be obvious, but if you have 1 and 2 answered with yes. It’s up to you to start changing your inner dialogue and use the change your story exercise above. I hope you will find some new ideas or inspiration that will guide you in the direction of where you want to go. That will help you get into mental balance and get your life back on track – headed in a direction you want and choose.
The physical balance is probably the most obvious one. You can feel tired and moody all day and have no energy to do anything you like. That could be your circumstances. Yet, you now have the tools to change your thoughts around those activities and also have a tool to change your emotional state of being. Feeling tired and energy less are usually a sign that you are out of alignment or that an emotional trigger is pulling you in deeper into the ‘not doing anything’- mode.
If you are anything like me, that mode has become a comfort zone and you are not really eager to give that up yet. But to make sure your overall balance of your life is nearly perfect, you just need to have attention for this part of your life too. Answer the following questions to determine where you are now:
1. Do you feel slow and tired all day and come out of bed late in the morning?
2. Do you have a steady meal rhythm every day and do you eat healthy?
3. Are you aware of what your body needs to feel good? Do you exercise or go out for a walk?
This area of your life is probably the most visible and touchable in your life. So it is the easiest balance to achieve. Yet, for people that have run into burn-out and deal with emotional consequences of such an event it is the last part of the Life Balance Formula that is addressed. When you are feeling emotionally damaged and don’t have the awareness that you are the creator of your reality, the changes you make on a physical level are rarely lasting. But now you have the tools to prepare your healing from the inside out, dealing with your physical balance will be a piece of cake.
Or rather something more healthy instead of cake. LOL
The changes you make on a physical level are going to match your new lifestyle and going to be the foundation. So pay very close attention here and not just answer what you think people want to hear. Be very honest to yourself and make the changes You decide to make in your life.
How would your ideal day look like? Make a day structure that contains all the elements that are important to you (activities, relaxation, meetings, alone time, meals, sleeping times, exercise and other things that are important to you).
Take into account that the activities that no longer give you energy or that are draining should not be on your new day structure. It is about being mindful of the signs you are getting and making new choices. So if going to a pub was something you did very week and now it is taking out too much of your energy, stop going. If meeting your friends all together on a Sunday afternoon was always fun and easy for you, but now you feel overwhelmed and so tired that you sleep until the next afternoon. A change need to be made. Maybe you can meet two friends for dinner, instead of hanging out with all at the same time? When your schedule has been full of appointments, make sure you make some appointments with the most important person in your life, YOU! When it has never been an issue for you to relax or sleep and suddenly it seems more important in your current circumstances, make them a priority!
Remember, it’s not about getting back into your old life. It’s getting your life back on track, and in the direction of that perfect life that is a great match with who you are. Don’t look back, move forward!
Experiment with new activities, like yoga, dance and meditation. See how those activities can have a positive effect on having more balance in your life.
If you really have no idea yet, I suggest you read the book ‘The miracle morning’ – it describes a very honest and profound way of starting your day, getting you into a rhythm of getting up early in the morning and using your first hour for ALL the things that are most important to your healthy new lifestyle. Combine this routine with a healthy breakfast and the start of your day will shimmer in the morning light and you will shine on into your day. After taking this routine for 30 days, you decide whether it improved your life of not. I’m sure I will use it again when I feel my life is getting of track.
What mostly happens is that your financial circumstances also change because of your new choices and life changing events that are going on in your life. I had to start living from a basic income in order to finance my new career moves (which the company didn’t pay for in the end).
Yet I had my vision of my new future in place, so I knew it was going to take some investment to get me where I wanted to be. And if that meant living a more basic lifestyle, maybe that was just what the doctor prescribed. If only there had been someone that was wise enough to add the financial health to my balanced new lifestyle, the rest of my story would be a lot easier I think.
Your financial health is very important to keep in mind though – I don’t want you to get bankrupt because you were taking on too much or not having enough to maintain your new balanced lifestyle.
To know if your financial balance is in place ask yourself the following questions:
1. Am I aware of what comes in and what goes out every month?
2. Do I have a buffer for when I need it or want to invest in something I really love?
3. How much of my income can I spend and how much is for my long term savings?
Learning how to manage your money is a big part of life. Not much spoken of topic in the spiritual world if you ask me. But it should be on the agenda. I believe that when you have your personal life in order, that is reflected by your healthy financial balance. As long as those two are not in balance at the same time, they can pull you back off track so easily. That’s not why you are working so hard to get your life back on track. So keep in mind to also have your financial situation in balance.
When you are going to follow your passion, think about where the money is going to come from. When you choose a different job or career, think about the financial risks or affects you are signing for. Nothing is without risk. So I’m not saying that you should play it safe. I am just saying that you should always play wisely and have your eye on what a choice means for your financial balance.
In your case there is probably an amount in your bank account that you are grown accustomed to. You have your lifestyle that is based on the income you had. Your new lifestyle that you have written down in the Physical Balance step – should match your financial balance. Look at that right now.
1. What are the main costs of that new lifestyle – would you spend more or less?
2. Is the new direction that you chose for your future going to bring in the same amount of money, more or less? How are you going to take care of the rest, when it’s less?
3. In what way can you make money on the side, while you are figuring out your new life choices? What will add to your new career or make you happy doing it?
Money is here to support you
When you have your financial balance in place and all the other areas of your life are back on track, there is no reason why you shouldn’t Live a Long and Happy life. This Life Balance Formula is going to bring you clarity and focus for the rest of your new life. It helps you to become the person you were born to be and create a life that you are happy with. That’s not necessarily the life that you had, but the life that is most perfect for you, personally.
I wish you a lot of Balance in all areas of your life!!
If you have any questions or when you want to share your experience about your Balance in your life, please let me know in the comments. I hope I can help you out with anything that is preventing you from feeling Happy, Guided and Balanced.