It has taken a long time before I could accept myself for who I was. Being a young woman, I was always comparing myself to others and wanting to be different, more like them. It was not fair to the woman I actually am. I didn’t give her a chance to be her Authentic Self, constantly tried to ignore and change her. But from the moment I let her in and accepted myself for who I really was, my life changed. And that is what I want for you too. So listen closely and listen good.
You are already good enough!
You are exactly right just the way you are.
Actually you are amazing!
You are wonderful and it’s time someone told you that.
We become what we believe
The reason you are not satisfied and always looking outside of yourself for ‘perfection’ or ‘doing better’ or ‘more … ‘ is because you have been told from an early age that the way you are was not enough. And I’m sorry that you heard that so many times that you started to believe it. When someone tells you something once, you can just ignore it. But if you hear something over and over again, we tend to doubt ourselves and start to believe in what the people around us say about us. And it’s not just by their words, it’s also about the way they treat us or the things they forget to say to us. We were influenced from an early age to believe something about who we are and we become what we believe in the most.
Your current image of yourself is based on a whole pile of experiences and beliefs.
See it as a basked of dirty laundry that has been sitting there for years, being neglected and getting all dusty.
What happened is that we have just accepted that ’this is who we are’ and never looked back again. We just created new identities and images on top of the pile of laundry so we wouldn’t see the old rags anymore. We could just pretend to be the successful, a jolly or happy person, as long as we just covered up what was there previously.
What doesn’t work
If you want to find your authentic self, covering up parts of yourself you don’t like anymore or don’t feel good to you is never the answer. I’m sorry but you have to dig into the dirty laundry basket to find your Authentic Self. Not that you are that pile of rags in any way, but to find out what was actually underneath those fake layers in the first place.
The other thing I mentioned that doesn’t work is creating a new identity on top of the old rags and just cover up the parts that you didn’t like anymore. That way you can create a mask, but it will never be Authentic. And the power of authenticity is always greater than the power of the mask you put on.
You might know the phrase “fake it until you make it”.
Well, that might be helpful to develop some of your forgotten and hidden talents, but it will not help you to uncover your Authentic Self. Authentic means that you become Who you already are. So inventing things is not part of that. Pretending to be someone you’re not will definitely make you very tired in the end. And most importantly it won’t make you happy.
Uncovering the Truth
When you are ready to uncover the truth about who you are, you can start by looking in the mirror. Appreciate what is real about you and what is already there. What are you proud of that is authentically yours? Look deeply into your eyes, so you can see the Love, the sharpness, the peace, the wittiness, the youthfulness, curiosity or any other trait that you have inside of you.
When I look into my eyes in the mirror I first see the mood that I’m in and I hear the beliefs that make me feel small. Then I see my vulnerability, my pureness and honesty. I admire that in myself, that I’m not afraid to look at myself. Then I look deeper and start to see love in my eyes. I appreciate the way I can love everybody in my life and I give that love to myself too sometimes. I look even deeper and there comes a calm voice in my ear that whispers “everything is (going to be) alright”. I see peace and warmth in my eyes. And then there is that sparkle…. like little stars that light up in my eyes and I feel joy. And that’s when I know I’ve hit the core…. my authentic self. I smile and leave the reflection of myself in the mirror.
To uncover the True Self you have to look besides some layers that have been protecting and covering it for almost your whole life. You need to be willing to be vulnerable and honest, to see past those blocks. It is You that can decide it is no longer necessary and go beyond the limits you think that were there.
When you look at yourself in the mirror and don’t like it, I encourage you to hold on and look for Truth. What is True about my reflection? Who you really are is always inside of you. Just keep looking for that Truth.
A big part of this process is acceptance. Accepting what you see in the mirror and start to love what you see. You don’t have to be anyone else. You are so brave, just because you are real and ready to look for your True Self. You are beautiful just the way you are. And you don’t have to be like anyone else. You were born with unique gifts and talents, that only you have. You are already worthy and you are very significant. You are the one that needs to start to see how amazing you are and work with what you were given.
Soul travel to find your true self
Another way to uncover your authentic self is to go into meditation and Meet your True Self.
Your Soul is the part of you that never changed and has always been with you. From the day you were born to the moment you die, and beyond that moment. It is what is truly authentic and what will never change. Getting to know the qualities of your soul is another way to reconnect with your authentic self. In my e-course Uncover your life mission this is the first part I’m guiding my students to. To reconnect with the Love, Wisdom, and Power of their Soul, which I call the connection with Who you really are.
But there are other meditations available on SoundCloud and youtube that will guide you to connect to your true self.
Getting to know this part of yourself will immediately shift your perception of yourself. There is no other Truth anymore but this Higher truth and you start to see yourself from this higher perspective. In that light, all the layers of your false self will come off much easier. Because you now know what lies beneath those rags and behind those false masks.
It will make the journey to uncover your authentic self more enjoyable. It will give you something to strive for and a direction to go in. Because connecting to this Truth is not enough. You will have to travel in the real world to get to the unfolding of your Authentic Self.
Unfolding of the Authentic Self
You have gained the insight and the power to go to your current self (the laundry basket) and start peeling off all the layers that are no longer serving you, that have never been real in the first place.
- What have you started doing to mask something else?
- When did you start believing that just being yourself was not enough, and what character/trait did you develop since then?
- What story about yourself has been playing in your head ever since you were young (and something bad happened). Is that story still true today? What protection did you use to not feel the pain of the thing that happened?
Going through the Laundry basket of your character like this can be a painful and dirty job. I’m sorry you have to get this old shit out again. But it is the only way to wipe your slate clean and live your True Authentic life. There is no easy way to clean this up. Just get it out and let’s decide if you want to carry it with you any longer. If not, you now have the choice to clean it up for good.
3 ways to clean up the old rags
– Place it in the light of your new self and make a decision. Do you want to carry it along with you or not? Make a firm statement and hold yourself to it. Keep reminding yourself: “This is not who I am anymore. I choose …. (new statement)”
– Go through an energetic cleansing with EFT. the emotional freedom technique helps you to clear out the ‘old rags’ and makes sure you let go of the emotional baggage that claims that this needs to stay with you. Let it go and replace it with what you do want to. Book a session with me here.
– With guided meditation journeys and inner child work, you can heal the past wounds that caused the old habits to exist in the first place. Settling things in your past, healing your inner child will help liberate you from ‘old rags’ and also helps you set free the qualities that you have been ignoring or that were buried under the pile of rags.
Freedom to be You
When you have done the cleaning and connect regularly with your True Self you will gain a new sense of Self. All you need to do then is to integrate your new self into your life. Make the changes that are necessary and live your most free life.
Allowing yourself to be You will set you Free.
Speaking your truth, doing what you love, saying no when you feel like it.
Having the courage to take on a new adventure.
Whatever it is that makes you who you are and that ignites the fire in your Heart. DO IT
Don’t wait and wonder.
Don’t doubt and fear
Just start doing it and see where that will get you.
Let me know what part of this blog inspired you the most. Do you have your own experiences and tips to share about becoming your Authentic Self. What is your favorite Self-healing tool? Share them here.